I still got it

Or do I? Over the past few days I had been talking a lot if trash at training to the swimmers. I just remember it being so much harder when I was younger. The intensity never stopped and when all the boys did a set it wasn't just about finishing, it was a challenge to see who could do the set the set the best.
Most of my motivation came from being the last man standing. I would often start the set with a full lane and end alone, making the set harder until no one else could do it. That's how I got to where I was despite my lack of talent. Warm up, warm down anything, it infuriated me to lose.

I remember two sets in particular. One was recovery, 12x300 on 4.30 easy just make cycle. By the second it was clear one of the boys wanted to take this opportunity to beat me, I would have none of it. Eventually another one of the boys joined in and they virtually took tu rns trying to pick me off. 12x300 easy on 4.30 eventually became 12x300 max on 4.30. I did most on 3.20, some faster. It was a recovery set for a reason.

We did two hard sets prior and after this one had another two hard. I didn't care I couldn't lose. I won the set, and the next two were just as good. Each set was on its own, i never approached one with the next in mind. I guess thats why I was so successful in being the toughest in the pool.

The other was a hard set that I made harder. 6x150 on 1.45 x 5. I only had one training partner in this set and he was as tough as they come, George O'Brian. We did the first two sets as is, the next two I dropped to 1.40 but still he hung on. The 5th set I planned to break him, 2 on 1.35 4 on 1.40 hold 1.30s. This was now the fastest time cycle I had ever done, the 1.35s were 1.03 100s.

I pushed it out hard making my times and at the end of the set red faced he still hung on. I was raging, annoyed I had let this guy hold on. If I couldn't drop him in one set how could I hope to be the best, so I used the anger to drive one last time.
"1.35, f*** him this is my lane," I yelled to Tim. 6x150 on 1.35, 900 meters at 1.03 pace. He didn't stand a chance but he never gave up. I only made 5, did the last on 1.40, which annoyed me, an incomplete set always does but I didn't lose. The drive to never lose drove me to do sets even I didn't think were possible and it would continue to do so for my entire career.

So the burning question in my mind was did I still have it. Swimming was something I could never fully let go of and I needed to back up all my talk.

Saturday morning, 16x400 on 5.00/5.30 an easy distance set for me. Dean had told me one of the guys did 4x100 on 1.05 the previous afternoon, surely I could do that. So without a word to Dean I set off on doing it. Four down I proclaimed my success to Dean and Tim. But during a 400 swim down I just couldn't shake the feeling that I had sold myself short. The last one I touched on 1.03 2 seconds clear of the push off time. Why did I stop? Surely, maybe I could of done 5. I had to find out, so after the 400 I was off again. Number 5 I touched dead on 1.05, that was 9 all up and I did it. I was over the moon, this was the old me, training with the same intensity. But was it enough? I really wanted to show my dominance of the set and two, well two just wasn't enough so after another 400 I announced to Dean just one more set.

The other two had been relatively easy, this one I would really feel the burn.

The first one was fast as usual when doing a rep set, makes number two a formality, I've always said in any set you should make two easy. First one hard, second survive. In this set my theory stood true all I had to do was survive the last two. I was revelling in the pain, the heat my body was exuding, the speed, it was intoxicating. I was doing this set to prove to myself I hadn't slipped, dispite the lack of training. Number three was a struggle, my arms were burning a feeling i recognised all too well, I was in trouble of losing this. Just over a minute to go. That's what I told myself as I pushed off the wall for the last one. It really isn't hard in my mind to motivate yourself for such short times. In comparison to a day or week, what is a minute or two. Nothing.

I touched the wall with as much vigor as I swam the first one. It was done, a total of 13x100s on 1.05, yea I still had it. I had proven to myself I still possesed the toughness I once had, I hadn't slipped and despite the lack of swimming training I still had the drive to make sets like I use to. I think I will start training with the squad again, only for the hard sets though and win every set.